hotel room ftw
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
