I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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