I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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