like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
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and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
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I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?