Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.