Got a toothbrush?
I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
