remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
