Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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