Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
MIDGETS
????
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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