To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
