you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize