i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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