I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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