I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
