i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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