this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
