Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
