Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
