Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
