Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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