I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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