so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
