You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
She even gives head with a lisp.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
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This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
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the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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