we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize