He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
