I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
