There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize