i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
