hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, beer. Big fan.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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