Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
