My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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