so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
