Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
