And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
