before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
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