I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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