I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
