dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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