She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
