at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
