For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
