big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Randomize
