You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
they need to just BURY HIM!
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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