Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Randomize
