I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
