you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
