I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
