just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize