I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Randomize
