im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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