You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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