At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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