lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
