Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Randomize
