when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
