Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
