and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
im holly from the hills drunk
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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