Can i not drive my cunt home
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
