i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Green mimosas i think yes
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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