if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
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