Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize