He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
