you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
