she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
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i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
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Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
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